Let’s work from top to toe.

Hair:

No hair dryer or straighteners mixed with rain and mud equals looking like some sort of scarecrow. Not a good look. Now some festivals have boutique hairdressing tents, with the option of a fully wash and blow dry, and GHD have also infiltrated some of the big festivals, much to our delight!

If this option is not available you have a couple of choices, either use dry hair shampoo spray or get a fashionable hat to hide the horror. A trilby should do the trick.

Face:

You need to remember to bring wipes for cleansing, moisturizer and sun screen. These items are very important. Along with that a basic make-up bag: waterproof mascara, under eye concealer (for the day after the night before) and a good lip gloss. Oversized sunglasses will also hide the multitude of sins while still making you look chic.

Clothing:

Denim shorts are a festival favourite, they look great teamed with boots or sandals. Playsuits are cute and bang on trend, although navigating portaloos could be a bit tricky.

For cooler days or nights add knee socks or change into jeans. Vintage t-shirts and a few long sleeve tops are great for layering while a dress is certain to impress in the dance tent. Another essential item would be a rain mac.

Footwear:

Wellington boots are pretty much a staple of the UK festival, with Hunter Wellies being the celeb choice. You may be trudging around in mud but you can look cool doing so, with a host of colours and patterns to choose from. If the sun does decide to shine, a pair of gladiator sandals would be perfect.

Whatever the weather you can too can be a festival goddess!

Start with a clean shave. No matter how fashionable the clothes you’re wearing are, you’re not going to look pulled together if you’re in need of a haircut or shave. Although men’s hairstyles and facial hair choices are certainly more creative than they used to be, it’s important to project a well-groomed image. A scraggly beard is not designer stubble.

Don’t be afraid of patterns. Patterns are perfect for men’s wear for formal or casual events, if you wear them in the right way. Start small, with a patterned necktie. Or go with neutral slacks, solid blazer, solid tie, but patterned shirt. There are many different ways to work eye-catching patterns into your wardrobe without looking like a clown.

Colour is another thing you need to feel comfortable with. Try a colourful tie if you’re shy with bright’s, and keep the rest of your ensemble neutral. To look polished in a hurry, match your tie to your shirt for a stylish monochromatic look. Try deep wine, royal blue, or hunter green.

When choosing what to wear for formal occasions, stick with the classics. Suits in dark colours like black and navy are always good choices. Add interest with a bright handkerchief or vibrant tie. A formal occasion is usually not the time to try a new fashion choice! If choosing what to wear on your wedding day, follow the appropriate groom’s dress code for wedding ceremonies and reception.

Now, when choosing what to wear for casual occasions, you can be a bit more creative. One trendy idea is to make good use of layers. For a put-together look that can take you most anywhere, combine your favorite jeans with a solid or striped Oxford shirt, then top with a trendy short sleeved tee.

For more ideas, look through a menswear catalogue or fashion magazine. Many runway looks can be modified to work for real life. Get creative and find ways to incorporate today’s trends into your lifestyle. Fashion may not be on every man’s top ten list, but by understanding the basics, any man can look great in a hurry.

One of my favourites is Beyond Retro, on Cheshire Street, many a Saturday afternoon has been well spent trawling through retro hats, shoes and dresses. I recently bought a red 50′s nightie which I’m now in love with, not for bed of course, for nights out.

On a weekend in Brighton I found some great items as well, they were begging me to take them home; of course I needed that feather covered hat with the berries on top. Odd to think that I would run from a second hand store, afraid of kooties, but join the throngs of women in trying out retro boots that have been worn by someone thirty years ago. There are countless online Vintage shops that you can peruse at your leisure, so get bookmarking.

Of course eBay has a fantastic Vintage section, from antique lace gloves to nineteen eighties neon. Popular items like 60′s mini dresses do tend to go quite high but there is still a bargain to be bagged if you can pip someone to the post. I was recently outbid on a yellow 70′s dress, and if the person that did it is reading this, then a pox on you! I could have been a contender for the next Mrs Law in that dress.

If you can’t bear the thought of trawling through vintage shops or don’t want to get addicted to eBay, there are plenty of reproduction vintage dresses and the like in high street shops. You can still look good and also be certain that your dress is not being haunted by a love bead crazed hippy.

Now I am a shoe lover of gargantuous proportions. From New look to Mui Mui, I don’t have a favourite brand – I just love shoes! In fact it wasn’t until I had to move house that I got found out for my addiction. When the removal men dropped one of my 15 boxes labeled ‘Scientific Equipment’ and ‘Clever Books’ and 18 little boxes slid out… not revealing more boxes like a Russian doll, but yep, you guessed it. SHOES!!

So what boots am I excited about this winter? Well, boots are still very tall this season, and by tall, I mean long up the leg, knee skimming, even over the knee is definitely in. Pirate is fading away as are over complicated boots, tassles, ties and so forth are taking a back seat, although minimal use is still ok. Cowboys, thank you Jesus, they are still here in a full force. As is wearing your boots over your jeans, which is the best trend to ever hit this side of the Atlantic with our rainy weather… No more going home with jeans sodden up to the thigh as if you’ve been on a fishing trip.

But don’t think that it’s all simplistic this season, there is a new sense of style and luxury with a retro touch that will strike the right balance between casual and classic elements. Decorative shoes are around but in a more eccentric fashion hybrid of both the arty bohemian lifestyle of the 20s and of the Woodstock generation of the 70s.

The Platforms we all swore we weren’t going to wear again and wedge heels are still a strong contender, but less brash for the slightly more reserved classy Brit look. Riding boots are still massive, as is the welly (you should still have some left over from your festival of love but chuck them out and invest in a really good pair).

Above all, don’t be a slave to fashion, get on eBay, pick up some vintage and get them re-heeled and re-soled (grips essential for not falling over stupidly on a date during the frosty seasons). Customize them yourself, wear them with leggings, legwarmers or silly woolen socks popping out the top. Just make your style your own, it works for Kate Moss, but then again, not for Helena Bohem Carter, so steer clear of the crappy jumpers and Oxfam if you’re that way inclined.

Well, it’s payback time! Shoes are calling out for blood and they want it now. It’s the return of the skyscraper heel.

Remember when spike heels came back in? They made us look leaner and sophisticated and we swore blindly that we would never wear another wedge heel. Wedges were dirty, reminded us of the spice girls, and gave us a clunky almost clumsy look. Oh, what a difference a couple of seasons makes. Wedges are firmly back in the stores and back onto our precious feet.

Chloe, Dolce and Gabbana and Donna Karan all featured wedges in their catwalk shows this season. From bright pink pvc, to natural tones and muslin straps, wedges were the finishing touch to nearly all the latest trends on the runways, whether teamed with thigh scraping minis or floaty dresses.

The great thing about wedges, besides the fact that they go with everything, is although they look clunky, they are actually easier to walk in than skinny heels. Your weight is more evenly distributed across your foot and pressure is alleviated from just being on your heel. So although they aren’t as sophisticated looking, your walk might look a little less like you really need to use the loo (that’s my high heel walk, which negates the fact that I am wearing sexy heels).

But if you promised that you weren’t going to wear wedges again, and aren’t as fickle as I am and actually mean what you say, then you’ll be seeking a wedge alternative. If you are then no sleek stilettos please, they are a definite no no no! NO!

The only way forward would be chunky-heel platforms for spring’s no-frills silhouette. The chunkier the better. Burberry, Donna Karan and Gucci had chunky heels pitter pattering down their runways in patent, pvc, duck egg blue and lizard skin. All the high street designers will be putting out copies in the shops so don’t be a wallflower when it comes to your feet this season. Make your feet feel like they are starring in the rocky horror show.

You do have a few options, you can a: wear comfortable shoes (yeah right) b: get gel inserts to cushion the blow or c: get plastic surgery for your feet.

There are a few different procedures you can opt for, from collagen injections to the balls of your feet to toe amputation to make it easier to fit into your favourite Jimmy Choos. Now some people have problem feet that do need surgery, but there is a difference between that and cosmetic procedures.

Personally I think that’s going too far, especially as footwear fashion changes constantly, and what are you going to do if a designer comes up with six toed sandals? Have one of your fingers grafted on to your foot to keep up with fashion trends? Are designers laughing at us behind the backs of our feet? Seeing just what lengths we will go to? Perhaps if we stopped buying foot torture chambers designers would create gorgeous heels with an emphasis on comfort? We can only hope.

Gel inserts, Party Feet etc, are made to go inside your heels, to take the pressure off a bit, though most of us have had one come loose at one time or another, giving the chicken fillet effect to our feet.

So what is the answer? Are we doomed to a life of blisters and bunions, or will we wizen up, lose some of our vanity and go for flatties, or instead go the whole hog and get an extreme cosmetic make-over for our feet. For now I think I will stick to a bit of hobbling, try some new gel pads and pray for heels to go out of fashion so I can pull out the slippers.

Tyra seems to get more outlandish with each series, or ‘cycle’ as she calls it. I feared for her sanity slightly when she play acted a ‘diva’ skit, it really was a case of perhaps a white coat may suit you best.

Twiggy, ‘fashion icon and living legend’ is down to earth, while the shows Miss J. Alexander, a very talented cat walk coach, flounces about in alarming outfits certainly not flattering to his frame. Nigel Barker, famed photographer and former (hot, oh yes) model, adds a good balance.

It’s a fairly simple formula, put thirteen girls into a house, chosen from thousands of contestants, send them on fashion shoots each week, have them compete for things from 32k worth of jewellery to a days pampering, then weekly evictions for the girl who performed the worst.

Eviction day heralds more tears and tantrums, with the panel of judges giving each girl a critique, then Tyra dramatically holding a pile of photographs, with the girl who is being sent back not being in the pack. Lots of tense action, generally with smirking models who know they are ‘safe’ crossing their fingers that their nemesis will be evicted, and the loser dropping to the floor or hugging everyone in tears.

The show does deal with important issues, such as bulimia and anorexia, and I’m happy to report that you do see most of the girls eating healthily. So if you enjoy reality TV mixed with gorgeous fashion shoots, this could be the show for you. But don’t say I didn’t warn you, it really is handbags at dawn and a saucer of milk for table two, meow!

If you had the choice, who would you like to be when you grow up? Miss Moss or Mrs. Goldenballs? As for me, it will always be Kate, the goddess, the trendsetter, the girl who brought us skinny jeans! Try to prise mine from me and I’m likely to go feral.

There are some very big differences between Kate and Posh, though you can’t pick up a paper or magazine without seeing at least one of them.

Kate is the uber Supermodel, Posh the former Spice Girl who married a footballer done good. They are both involved in their own fashion lines, with Victoria’s range of VDB jeans, sunglasses, handbags and jewellery and Kate soon to launching one of her own, which I await with baited breath. Both of these lovely ladies have their own style and following, though I feel that Kate has more of a down to earth look we can all try to copy, whereas Posh seems to wear couture which is impossible for mere mortals to achieve.

I love the fact that Moss will be pictured in wellies or falling about after a night out, of course she still looks gorgeous, I would probably be arrested for crimes against beauty if pictured like that. Posh has the polished look, never a hair out of place (we wont go into those extensions), someone who could dine with royalty at a moments notice.

Lets look at their personal lives, both are mothers, with Victoria’s little brood of sons, Brooklyn, Romeo and Cruz, and Kate’s Lila Grace. Man wise, I’m going to side with Mrs. Beckam, sorry Docherty, I like a man who looks like he washes at least once a fortnight whether he needs it or not.

As for controversy, Kate Moss hasn’t suffered any permanent damage after allegations were made against her causing her to be dropped from labels like H&M and Burberry while can Posh Spice ever be forgiven for her solo pop crimes I mean career?

Posh has gone from one of us to acting like she is too good for the likes of us. Kate is a bit of a grubber with the face and body of an angel, someone you would love to have a giggle with in the ladies on a night out, who could probably drink us under the table and still have perfect lashes. Let me go check the papers and see what she was wearing last night, a bin bag teamed with a cravat?? I must have that outfit!